Arrived Late to the Party

We’re coming up on Halloween, and we spent some time perusing websites for costumes to purchase.  I would love to say that I am going to design and sew the children’s costumes this year, but let’s be reasonable.

While we were searching for the desired Luke and Leia costumes, I kept seeing Lady Gaga outfits.  For women.  For children.  For dogs.  WHO IS THIS?  I asked my husband.  Who proceeded to make RAH RAH RARARAH noises until I started squinting at him.

We don’t have cable, I listen to the CBC radio while driving, we only this summer got high speed internet, and the majority of my social interaction occurs with other people… who ALSO have no idea what the deal is exactly.  I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it wrapped in bacon, but I’m not so sure.  Was that her or Sandy Skoglund?

Now that we can use YouTube with our gloriously fast internet, it didn’t take me long to find out.  After getting over the initial shock that I was watching a mini-Madonna, I was blown away by the content of the music video.  I don’t think I have sat through a regular ol’ music video in nearly 7 years.  That’s a long time to be out of the loop. And I’ve had a major perspective shift.

This was no Madonna hip thrusting, PVC coated ab-busting dance move.  This was simulated sex all over the place.  Set to music.  I know 8 year olds who love Gaga.  12  year olds.  Which seems somehow worse.

I didn’t want to throw a blanket over LadyG, but it did make me want to hide my daughter. And son.

Rock and roll was devil’s music.  Elvis was evil incarnate.  Madonna with her burning crosses and pointy bra was a nightmare to many parents I am sure.  I know we’ve been here before, this motif is not new.  But this has got to be a record.  Shy of actual, visible penetration, this was porn produced for a market that includes minors.  Soft core porn is softer than the video I watched, that I know children watch.

My kids are 4 & 6 and they know all about how babies are made.  They’ve seen various animals copulate and give birth, there’s no secrets about sex or death here.  It’s a part of the natural world we live in.  I’m not going to tell my children the horses are wrestling, or the rooster is going for a piggy back ride.  I don’t think sexuality or deviance needs to be hidden.  However, I am concerned that the easy access to hyper sexual entertainment could have a negative impact on a developing sense of self.

There was a bit on CBC the other day, some douchebag trying to justify why he runs a dating website for married folk who want an easier way to cheat.  My time spent online, I’m not looking to swap my husband.  I’m surfing the local poultry swappers website.  I’m in a Gaga free world.

For now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Are you an adult?  If so, I highly recommend spending the next four minutes watching this super TEDtalk by Cindy Gallop.  This it is, this is everything I could ever say on the matter, only said better.  And by a way cooler lady.

Make love, not porn.


  1. Caitlin · October 13, 2012

    I love Gaga. I love her music, I love her message. I don’t watch videos because they don’t stream to mobile (at least last time I looked, if anyone wants to correct me). She is pro gay and anti bullying. She writes all her own music and actually plays piano well. She has a great sense of humour about herself and life in general. I don’t mind Ari listening to her because the message of embracing your individualism and loving yourself is important to me!

  2. alex · October 13, 2012

    Oh Gaga. I’m convince it’s a Robot sent back from the future to kill us.

  3. alex · October 13, 2012

    PS what costume’s did you get for Bob and Meeps? For the first time in, well, forever, Adelaide said she wanted to be a witch! So I rushed to Target and sealed the deal before she could change her mind! She chose a really nice long dress with a hooped skirt rather than a little glitter slutty witch number. I was relieved.

  4. Julia · October 13, 2012

    I also love Gaga and her message.
    I dont really think this is really about her so much as parenting choices.

  5. Janice · October 13, 2012

    Actually.. there are much worse ‘artists’ out there in terms of blatant sex acts in videos etc./lyrics. And like the others said.. at least she has some substance behind her. You wouldn’t believe the crap that’s out there now.. I watched the Cindy Gallop video.. so agree with her.

  6. 6512 and growing · October 13, 2012

    I was similarly in the dark about gaga, so a few months ago, my kids and I watched a you tube video of her. I liked her message (born this way) and even her music, but wow, the dancing didn’t feel appropriate for my 5 and 7 year old.

  7. Twwly · October 13, 2012

    I didn’t watch long enough to get any “message”. As i said, I don’t want to throw a blanket on her, shake your booty, I’m all for it.

    I agree the responsibility lays with parents, but not entirely. If you know that your audience includes children, seemingly a good percentage of her audience, don’t you think there could be less of the porno factor and more dancing?

    I am sure there are worse, but I happened upon Gaga costumes, which is what prompted this revelation. Ha.

  8. Priscilla · October 13, 2012

    I like some of her music, but I think she in general a)really does rip off Madonna, it’s beyond homage at this point and b) will do ANYTHING for attention, and most of what she does IS for attention. She is a great musician and very talented, so it’s a shame imo that she does not think that’s enough.

    That said, the only videos of hers I’ve seen are Poker Face and Paparazzi. I think they are cute and fun, but I wouldn’t let a kid see them, and that’s a matter of parenting choices. I don’t think I would let a child watch most of the music videos out there these days.

    Some things are for kids and some are for adults, and that’s okay.

  9. Nicole P. · October 13, 2012

    I don’t think GaGa is meant for children. I think she’s supposed to be for teens and young adults, mostly. I like her music for the most part. Her ‘Edge of Glory’ acoustic version is spectacular. I think it comes down to parenting choices as far as exposure goes.

    I haven’t watched a music video in I don’t know how long. We don’t have cable and my kids prefer to watch old Grover skits from Sesame Street.

  10. Ivy · October 13, 2012

    Fuck Gaga, I’m dressing as Slash this Halloween. And I got my Black Keys ticket through the post this morning! Happy days. Enjoy the festivities Ashley!

  11. Laura · October 13, 2012

    I love Ted talks. It’s my choice of entertainment while I do dishes or fold laundry. Have you watched Sir Ken Robinson’s talks? His first one summed up why I wanted to homeschool.

  12. Hayley · October 13, 2012

    dude I am all over this one. My kids are 9 and 6 now and unfortunately they go to public school. Sometimes at school they have dances. One day my kids came home after a dance and told me the music that was being played: Lady Gaga, LMFAO, Rihanna, the list goes on. The music that they were playing for all the grades (including kindergarten-why the FUCK are they having a dance anyway?) had plenty of reference to drugs, alcohol, and especially sex. My kids knew this was wrong and that is why the told me. Naturally I contacted the Principal- a poindexter of a man who means well but really has no idea of what’s going on in the media-specifically music. So I sent him the lyrics to the songs that were played and he was floored. even the radio edits are bad because the only remove the swear words. I would take swear words over reference to dry humping any day. Anyway, he decides to give me a copy of the songlist for the next dance that the dj has. a list of 45 songs. Out of the 45 songs there were 11 that didn’t have reference to sex, drugs and booze. Unbelievable. There is so much good music out there that wouldn’t turn young kids into oversexualized, self conscious , confused people. The real problem i had with this was that the school is contradicting itself in that they don’t want the children behaving like like slutty sluts and dressing like slutty sluts nor do they encourage drinking and drugs. So why encourage them to listen to music that embodies nothing but? “educators” need to educate themselves first. FUCK.

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