Anybody Home

Hi.

 

Believe it or not, I still have the internet.  In the month of May, we got connected at long last to HIGH SPEED internet.  This spring also saw the opening of a sushi restaurant in the town of Kincardine.  Folks, it is a brave new world for us out here in the boondocks.

Our farm is on the market.  We’d need to get every penny out of the asking price to make a move possible, a feat which I am personally praying wagering won’t happen.  I don’t really want to talk about it.  Try spending every minute of your spare time fighting a major corporation (Samsung) and various levels of government (municipal and provincial) in an effort to protect your family, knowing that you would probably see better results if you smashed your face off your driveway.  We don’t have enough money lawyers to look scary like we can affect change, and I don’t need to spend anymore time wondering who I need to metaphorically shiv in the shower to get these motherfuckers to back the fuck off my farm.

Bah.

Where was I?  The internet.  “We can has the internetz” now.  We can watch simple videos on YouTube without it buffering for an hour and a half.  I can download TV shows on iTunes, and music too.  I also can use INSTAGRAM!  If you want to find me online, that’s where I am.  The community there is pretty cool, at least my little bubble is pretty awesome.  My feed contains pictures of random cute dogs, hairless cats that belong to every other tattooer I know, doodles of penises, and hot girls.  There’s no whining in pictures.  I like it.

We’ve had a bad go with raccoons this year.  It was an easy winter, which means that the less fit coons survived, which means they are sickly bastards with distemper, breeding and being jerks left, right and center.  Distempered, they become zombies.  Slow moving, and remarkably resilient to death, despite existing on the brink of it.

Late one evening we heard a melee in the coop, Scott ran out in only his underpants, brandishing one of my rubber boots.  Two laying hens were already dead, and a third was stuck halfway through the electro-net, being semi-electrocuted with a jolt (and a buCK-AW!) every couple of seconds.  My knight in shining underpants freed the hen from the net, before turning off the energizer.  As a result of the attack, my hens are refusing to lay eggs in their nest boxes.  They burrow themselves into the straw under the boxes.  This is not a relationship I can work with, so we’ll be taking steps to block off the bottom.

Coons also made off with Maggie’s rabbit, who happened to be quite possibly the Cutest Rabbit in Existence.  A dwarf hotot the size of a kiwi.

Being an artist, as well as a sharpshooter (first place in standing and prone competitions), I came home one afternoon to find this fly covered installation art piece in my front lawn.

It’s little gestures like these that keep the spark in our marriage.

43 comments

  1. Mom · June 8, 2012

    Your resilience is an inspiration! <3

  2. Alex · June 8, 2012

    You’re such a great writer, I love hearing about the trials and tribulations of the farm, and even though it was obviously a bad event and the raccoons are a nuisance to say the least, hearing about Scott running about in his underpants and the picture of the dead raccoon on the bike is hilarious!

    I’ve never seen a rabbit like that! It really is the cutest thing. Poor Maggie. Poor rabbit. Will you get her another?

  3. Exploriment · June 8, 2012

    I am wiping away the tears from laughing so hard at the sight of that raccoon. Totally made my day.

  4. Sam · June 8, 2012

    That coon pose is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

  5. Isa · June 8, 2012

    hey,

    I dont know if it is too personal to ask :( but if u do sell the farm, will u move to another farm somewhere else or will u go back to normal city life in a huge city?

    I kind of hope u just switch to another farm, because I think it was fantastic how u turned around your life.

    Everytime I read your blog, I thought how amazing your life must be.

    You seem to be such a free bird and not materialistic at all.

    So yeahhh… to make i short:Will u tell us more about the move or is it too private?

  6. Tatyana · June 8, 2012

    From the designer who made that little Brown Parka, remember? I have not checked on your blog for a year, but I always was telling my husband about your farm and the wonderful life you were building there. So today, after talking once again about how we could, should, one day make a move, I checked on your blog, and I read the news of the farm being on a market and big corporation making your life difficult. And just this morning we talked about big corporations and how one should escape from all that by settling on the land. Do you feel like it is all futile? Or do you have a plan to win? Let us know!

  7. Katie j · June 8, 2012

    SCOTT. IS. HILARIOUS.

  8. Twwly · June 8, 2012

    Isa – there will be almost no farms left in South Western Ontario that do not have turbines in a close vicinity… I have absolutely no idea what is happening right now, I have no answers, I have no interest in living off of MY farm.

    Tatyana – Oh my favourite parka! I was just thinking the other day I must see if you make bigger ones. We love it SO much. To avoid a big corporation, you would need to own thousands and thousands of acres and plant yourself in the middle. MAYBE then, you would not be actively bothered. Monsanto sprays on cornfields. GMO alfalfa. Samsung and Enbridge and big oil companies putting up turbines that don’t work but city people think are green…. How about the American hedge fund that posed as potato farmers and bought up land here in Ontario to make an open pit well that could destroy drinking water for our province? Or the war that has been waged on Montana Jones heritage shropshire sheep? That’s the Ontario government fucking with her. And they fuck with small farmers all the time, they try to keep us out of business every step, with irrational quota systems and limitations.

    We are in a totally futile battle against Samsung. We will not win. But I could NEVER lay down and take it. My son asked me earlier this year when the “bitter end” would be so we could stop fighting. That day is not today.

  9. Twwly · June 8, 2012

    Alex – no more bunnies for the time being, I’m afraid!

  10. Jason · June 8, 2012

    We liquidated our real estate assets in Ontario and moved to New Brunswick this spring. It’s like moving to a different country, life is a lot different out here and I do not regret the move in the least.

    Our kids are young and we home school like you so it was the right time to do it. Ontario is moving in the wrong direction if you ask me and I am happy to be rid of it.

    Just my two cents worth.

  11. Twwly · June 8, 2012

    Jason, I couldn’t agree with you more. Ontario is in a downward spiral.

    We have two sets of grandparents within twenty minutes, it’s priceless to both my husband and I (who are children of immigrants). We would never move away from them.

  12. Hayley · June 8, 2012

    Hey lady! I’m sorry you have to move! I hope you and the family are doing well despite everything. Let me know if there is anything you need. Call me anytime!

  13. Blair · June 8, 2012

    having done battle with major corporation in my little village and lost i know how to feel
    i used to live in a little village here in Australia called Mt Kembla
    it is a little village just out side of a large industrial city called Wollongong (main industries are coal and steal)
    the village was a coal mining village up until the mid 1980’s
    in 2006 BHP decided to re open the mine in the village and opened consultation with the community expecting the village to welcome them with open arms
    and were shocked when we the villagers told them to get fucked
    thus started our battle
    BHP had both the council, state and federal government in there pockets so we knew we had no chance of winning
    but we fought a hard fight including blockading the entrance to the mine
    but BHP fought dirty (including the use of hired heavies to visit key members of the anti mine group at verius times of the night to tell the members what would happen to there families if they didn’t back down)

    in the end the only thing we could do was make detailed noted of environmental infringements and report them to the independent governing body
    and BHP has had to pay many fines as a result of our work

    i moved away from the village 2 yrs ago now
    but know there are still some that are fighting on even now.

    moral of the story is

    some times when on ice tap dancing is just not a good idea and is better to bow out with head held high knowing you have fought the good fight and not sunk to the dirty tricks of the money greedy

    Twwly i have followed your journey for many years now (am a former SG member) and i have spread and passed on your blog details to many (including my current partner who is a big fan of your blog). it is sad to see you leaving your home but some times bubbles need to be burst because the next bubble with have a stronger lining
    take this as one of the lessons you needed in life to make you stronger and more resilient and resolute in your convictions to have the better life you strove out for by moving back to the country and finding the love of your life and the family of your dreams

  14. Jackie · June 8, 2012

    Ashley – have you read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson? The “installation art piece” made me think of it. It is effing hilarious and I really think that you would appreciate it. Her Blog is awesome, too.

    http://thebloggess.com/lets-pretend-this-never-happened-a-mostly-true-memoir/

  15. The sleek design and ebony is unique to Oral-B, and makes vid truly luxurious gift.

    Besides the charming outlook, the merchandise specifications are with also top tech support
    team. In case you really feel remote monitoring
    just isn’t necessary or in the event you don’t have
    an connection to the web, you may always select local surveillance.

    The fake security software was flagged and removed with Norton. You don’t need your working computer or video technician to put in the system.

  16. That way you’ll be healthy to vigil the video dress with no interruptions.

    I want to write this as a way for me to put some thoughts into a concrete medium, so
    others may learn or at least become more aware of themselves, and the seeds that get planted in life.
    Hollywood news calendar To understand this a bit more we need
    to look at the “feel good factor”.

    But wait, there were also a few unglamorous guests
    as well, and they included Keisha Buchanan, Jo Wood,
    Jaime Winstone, Lois Winstone, Queen Latifah and Grace Woodward – isn’t she supposed to be a stylist.
    Gossip news india Here are 6 steps to help you when working
    in a negative environment:. You as a manager will, have or
    are facing some people such as these.

  17. On board memory can be quite limited (only 1MB of
    memory). But the display type that I recommend is surely an LCD HDTV, because doing so works
    well in bright areas so we usually view television during daytime.
    Rca output to hdmi input It turns out how the most common, and for that
    reason most affordable, ones are 3-port HDMI switches,
    maybe since most people really need 3 ports.

    A technique put together by Dolby(tm) which raises the signal-to-noise ratio by compression and expansion. Whereas analog element video
    is being useful for most on the buyer level
    apps while digital element online video media remains to get becoming common in properties and theaters.

  18. www.zotero.org · June 8

    Either cleanse skin at night before planning to bed or within the morning when you finally wake up.
    Do not use much in the make up and high lights on skin within this day the
    way it can result into over usage of make up.

    Beauty tips care world tv Scott provides for a magazine quality photograph depicting the small-town feel of America.

    Start washing nice hair the best you are able to every time you require a shower came from here on out.
    Applying different colours gives your lips the form of Gothic attractiveness you could have been dreaming of every one
    of these although.

  19. calla lily leaves · June 8

    These guest books tend to become a favorite by guests and also the newlywed
    couple. This can be a very traditional flower to get in wedding flower
    bouquets. These flowers can be utilized in bouquets as gifts
    or as decorations for anniversary celebrations.

    You could also add raffia, ribbon, as well as other nature items to all of the containers
    to provide them just a little more fall style. The color blends perfectly using a lily along with the two together could
    be an original and unique gift bouquet to give with this early anniversary.

  20. If you’re planning to buy an electric powered shaver, here are some
    tips to consider before purchasing one:. Generally multiple blades work better and offer you a smoother shave than single blade razors.

    Razor electric scooter south africa There a
    variety of simple ways to save money on electricity in New Jersey.

    Without a doubt, these matter holds true since the physical appearance
    from the razor is reasonably classy. As reliant on fact, employing a razor in some
    instances might not be the very best thing to complete at all.

  21. report · June 8

    This is certainly one good technique of making bananas stay longer,
    particularly if your bananas may be ripe already. Or
    can it be an expiration date if your product will no longer is
    safe to consume, or loses its potency and taste.
    Does beer expire Each of the needs a particular mixture of milk
    along with ingredients to make a unique taste.

    There are a great deal of recipes, workable combinations and ways for someone to muddle up.
    So the greater friends you’ve got who play, greater food you are going
    to have to sell that you didn’t cook.

  22. If you possess a phone which utilizes Bluetooth technology, such as an i
    – Phone, turn off the Bluetooth function through the night or set the product to “flight mode”.

    Moreover, there exists not a very huge market in small towns and
    to become successful; they’ve to move to urban areas for further options.
    http://Www.baofeng uv-5r If you choose to tune in to a comedy you’ll quickly
    realize that racial stereotypes are prevalent.

    And I think her advantage is she’s a Western-Asian woman that’s studying a historical Buddhist or Asian religion. Baofeng tri band Audials One 10 has become exclusively available about the manufacturer’s site to the annual Audials Gold subscription of US$ 47.
    I’m seeking to turn my mud spot into a sea of green; it might feel a great deal
    better when I examine it.

  23. Placing your wedding reception picture here or another happy,
    romantic picture that you just like. Every bride
    must experience one easy simple fact before you make any decision upon flower female
    dresses: roses girls are invariably children. Flower pictures line drawings One with the important points worth
    consideration is that once you shop around to the flowers online, you must keep in mind prices offered.

    No matter, flowers produce a wonderful gifting option on various occasions and events.
    Learn increasingly about your moderate baliindahphotography wedding picture takers and
    make contact with us.

  24. The game has one glaring problem understanding that is there is absolutely no full screen mode.
    If you pay a hundred dollars to obtain a nice looking mouse
    nonetheless it doesn’t fit your hand, then it is a waste.

    Best macro gaming mouse When the included AA rechargeable battery needs to be recharged the mouse pulsates
    its red colorization to let you understand that it can be
    time to recharge.

    Despite the existence of some issues with this gadget, many gamers continue to use it, even saying it’s the very best one they’ve ever
    had. Deep, time-intensive games are for desktop installs – fun and engaging games tend to be
    free to play in your browser, so why not try one from the following.

  25. It is quite useful for gamers along with others who want room to freely
    move their mouse. Once you happen to be comfortable with
    all the game rise against other Facebook players and
    test out your skill. Most expensive gaming mouse in the world For people that love online for
    free PC games which get harder and harder as you go – the
    following is one that will have your hands aching if you are done.

    With time, PC indie games such as Max and also the Magic Marker gave a brand new dimension to
    drawing. Your PC mouse is an important piece of kit and if you’re a hardcore gamer you’ll want the fastest and most accurate mouse it is
    possible to lay the hands on.

  26. Though a really useful GPS unit for driving, the Garmin 1450LMT carries a number of other
    uses that motivate individuals to own one. At Consumer Reports
    they may be, where they regularly test GPS devices.

    Change Symbol: You may give each address symbolic, which shows up about the GPS map.

    Any GPS device could get you to some RV Park should you already have
    a very destination. Garmin gps Whether you happen to be working delivery or just like to know where
    you are at all times, it is very important to have a GPS to
    allow you to know what your location is going.

  27. abcjazz.net.au · June 8

    com, Rumormonger Lover is now ranked among the top 5 most well-liked TV shows in 2009.
    m there to do a job, make a difference and make some money, right.

    Assistir online gossip girl 3 temporada dublado
    ve thought that Womanizer could sound good sung with a strong
    London accent, but for some reason Lily Allen.

    Apart from print and online sources there are television channels or programs which keep people updated with the most recent news about the celebrities.
    Gossip magazines sales Gossip can be really helpful
    professionally if skillfully handled and managed. But his motivation is not
    strategic: It comes from his own unshakable value system.

  28. While there are lots of benefits to selling candy bars, you can find also a number of disadvantages.
    When in Cebu, one couldn’t help but notice plenty of
    Korean bars and restos plying around ( lots of Koreans made Cebu their new house).
    How to make your own led light bar That is
    why building a clear choice while purchasing the light source bar
    is actually difficult unless you happen to be well aware of one’s requirements.

    Then your order — whatever it had been — was yelled
    again, even louder. Light bar police vehicles use, comprise of other light
    heads apart from the regular LED modules.

  29. system · June 8

    That is the reason why the company is continuously finding
    innovative products such as Garmin map updates. There
    is Garmin new City – Xplorer maps featured a pedestrian guidebook that appropriate with
    journey log screen and velocity boundaries.

    GPS (gps system) is really a navigation system that receives direct signal from a network
    of satellites in the orbit. To have a actual data of your
    respective personal work, a perfect running watch performs
    best. Garmin gps tracking device A long battery life
    for any GPS can save a great deal of frustration while
    deer hunting.

  30. However, when you plan to experience 3D games with your laptop, then up-gradation with a more powerful video card is inevitable.
    Remember, there is often a difference between pre-owned
    laptop and refurbished laptop. Best laptop less than 500 Gaming laptops
    are still higher priced, but the capability to take your gaming life within the go can be a
    great advantage.

    When you obtain an Alienware laptop, you together with everyone
    within 100 miles knows it. It was developed with a whole band of companies including Seagate, Intel, Maxtor, Dell
    among others.

  31. qsee software · June 8

    The providers in this segment most of them 1 – 5 person teams are increasingly emphasizing CCTV
    Products catering mostly to business through know contacts.
    Desktop DVR’s or Dictaphones are generally more affordable and they are perfect for documenting phone conversations or are
    used in conjunction with transcription software program.
    Security dvr reviews 2016 Having a CCTV camera installed in the home, office or business enables
    you to observe the location from anywhere inside
    world via computer or closed circuit television.

    In truth, many CCTV systems are privately owned, made to protect businesses with huge
    amounts of property like rail yards, scrap yards, warehouses,
    and department stores. These systems have a DVR attached
    to the system so they can record onto a disk what you guessed it-your camera sees.

  32. Ctfu Abbreviation · June 8

    To do this, the practitioner observes his Activity, Pulse, Grimace, Appearance
    and Respiration. The customer had a compact digital camera in their hand, and asked the sales clerk, “What is ISO. What is tbh means

    Sperm cannot easily swim through thick, sticky cervical mucus, but that doesn’t mean you can have unprotected intercourse during this time without threat of pregnancy. An underactive thyroid or parathyroid gland, located in the neck, can cause high CK levels too.

  33. nerf ????? get · June 8

    It can be important to match the kid toys while using
    child’s developmental age (which may be higher or lower than their
    physical age. In order to use your toy storage bins effectively, you should avoid purchasing large sized toys that cannot fit into the bins.

    Automatic nerf guns for sale You don’t have to buy a
    fancy toy to reap the advantages for learning and
    social interaction.

    These Longshot Nerfs are designed for six year old kids but
    they is usually a real treasure to adults who get yourself a thrill from playing a
    game title that requires exercise and strategy. If you’re looking for the popular
    toy gun with a nifty futuristic look then you better own a Maverick Nerf.

  34. cctv camera as · June 8

    Or when you’re an IT personnel, purchasing a computer is not hard for you.
    The result can be a shocked operater fined for speeding in a space they have
    never driven in. Cctv remote viewer Our extent of CCTV Cameras is broadly increased in value by our customers for his or her simple establishment,
    dependability and highly rated execution.

    Panic rooms are another modern concept which has been found
    seem to be effective. Dome cameras are usually for sale in various colors, which benefit users to ensure that the cameras are
    less noticeable when mounted.

  35. hdmi to 5 rca has · June 8

    The main difference between high definition cable and component cable is HDMI cable works like
    and computer even though the component cable resemble analog format.

    This will be where a wide various shoppers choose
    to purchase from. Component video cable walmart HDMI was produced and contains long been enhanced because with the endeavours of various prominent names inside
    computer and electronics trade.

    The Panasonic VT and GT Series plasma televisions are top from the range HDTVs from Panasonic which means
    SCHTB520 has got to but match their top quality and superb performance.
    But once associated with your Home Network you may access Online Streaming
    Services, DLNA media devices and BD-Live data.

  36. Therefore it could possibly meet whatever needs around the part of customers.
    How would they compare in performance, durability, uses, pricing, etc.

    Gaming laptop unter 500 This computer is equipped with
    the Intel Atom N270 (single core) with 1.

    Skilled professionals have many experience under their belt also it doesn’t bring them long to name the problem and acquire it fixed.

    Get some game time by permitting your pal a nifty gift card or
    two.

  37. That is aspect where wireless security surveillance cameras always reap some benefits upon.
    Finding that a business may be vandalized
    is often a horrible feeling. Security cameras benefits Now
    to guard your property, it really is important which you install reliable tamper-free locks so
    that you can keep your house and investments protected.

    Often it is because there may simply be one or two staff members
    around the premises, and which makes shoplifting easier.

    If one asks around the scope of the genius devices, the answer can be ‘never ending’.

  38. Health gadgets device like elliptical orbit and home fitness are
    preferred in several houses where there exists awareness of
    keeping good health. Home depot On September 7, a Facebook page which has a ‘sicko’
    while using the name of Jacky Lo allegedly trapped his dog in the running automatic washer.

    Most individuals who works within a dry clean, knows the ins and
    outs of precisely what is good in the fabric when cleaning them.
    Set flares, and in case you have a reflective vest from the
    vehicle then definitely wear it when you might be
    setting your flairs.

  39. does vodca spoil · June 8

    Although good hygiene is important to combat bad odor, the best strategy to beat this concern is still to
    cleanse one’s body from within. If the lobster is in the hibernation state,
    it is possible to drop it into water without a
    fight. Eggs Build up slowly more than a few weeks spending time to rest your whole body, eat good food and drink lots
    of water.

    As an end result, people may pay high prices for the product that will not be as
    pure and natural as the perfect. This often goes hand-in-hand with feeling better, indifferent, exciting, adventurous.

  40. Make certain that your i – Phone is set to question about available networks also to only hook up with protected
    Wi-Fi networks, including your own. You will should write 2 sentences around the
    product that you are promoting, and allow it to be catchy.
    It may be, thus, merely installing which you just experience excess lengths to guard your own personal home.

    The First Robotic Arthropod Known As Roboquad may also dance.

    From here you are going to select the email account you want to guarantee the SSL on,
    and in the event you only possess a single account attached for a i – Phone then this is going to be the only
    1 listed.

  41. In Exodus 23:1 the Bible clearly states that “You shall not spread a false report.
    A second mistake man make is that before approaching they should demonstrate to be very relaxed and never nervous, since women will
    immediately detect this and will surely prefer to avoid you.

    Gossip heat magazine So what should you do about the Hollywood gossip your kids are exposed to.

    Many of us listen to gossip and shake our heads while the person spouts off their news for the day, but how many of us take the time to say “Listen, I don’t
    want to hear this stuff. Gossip magazines in usa On the same exact information page you will discover a
    lot of internet sites regarding the “iraqi dinar revaluation” which appear to indicate the realization that only a very
    significant fool might own this currency in their trading work portfolio.
    If you are an active internet user then do you know what topic
    that always becomes trending topic on internet.

  42. Links towards the voices page as well as the Communicator download
    page around the Garmin website are provided within the Resources section below.
    Today’s GPS is extremely accurate thanks for their parallel multi-channel
    design.

    WAAS capability basically allows for any GPS unit’s accuracy to
    be within 3 meters. The Garmin GPS Motorcycle Mount also allows
    the driver to make calls via Bluetooth to points of interest databases: restaurants, museums, hotels, stores and so many more.
    Garmin gps software Therefore you might be not reading good information but the maps are
    bigger and simpler to see when you drive, that’s crucial for using a GPS device in a very car.

  43. latterly · June 8

    Foil shavers have tend to be more similar design to manual razors – single blades of metal covered by
    the thin layer of foil which vibrate (just like the design towards the right).
    Occam’s Razor is often a philosophical principle named about William of Ockham, a 14th century logician and theologian. Electric razor noise Of-course,
    the harder advanced features usually add on the cost from the razor.

    If you might be already using quality razor blades and you feel you don’t press to
    hard, though get a skin irritation, then possibly your soap
    or foam is the root cause. An alcohol based cleaning solution, removes shaved stubble to hygienically clean the shaver.