Chewing over resolutions. Mine usually involve fresh determination to keep our books in good order, nagging less, making new cheese. These resolutions are light, and self effacing. Life, land, love. Whatever hippy sentiment and sap I am rolling about in rises up and produces a tidy little list that I share here, as a reminder to myself to stay on track. I do love a good list.
This last year has been one drain after another. Shitty situations fueled by shitty people, steeped in greed, dry rubbed with dishonesty and peppered with politics.
Never again will I let people get close to my family, hug my children, receive our precious time, while singing and dancing tunes of hatred, while plotting betrayals, and other self aggrandizing acts of fuckery at our expense. No longer will I dismiss gut instincts, be polite, or make excuses for what I know is shit. Those days are done. If you don’t deserve it, you won’t get it. And if you DO deserve it, don’t bother watching your back like I should have been watching mine.
Never again will I patiently abide poor decisions based on greed. Figure you’re going to bigger your money on my sacrifice? Not without blood shed. Our fight against Samsung has been wearing me down. It consumes an incredible amount of my time and has been one depressing turn of events after another. The applicable colloquialism here is “getting kicked while you’re down”. And I am really sick of taking it.
Every shock, every disappointment, every time I’ve heard a municipal councilor say the phrase “our hands our tied”, the countless times I’ve listened to these slimy puppets avoid answering a single question, the fury has stayed inside me.
In 2012 I am going to use the rage that is poking at me underneath my skin. That sucks the smile from my face, that taps me of the energy it takes to play along with social graces.
There is no time to lick wounds. Life is now. 2012 will be the year I pull the knife out of my belly and use it.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck YOU.
Thanks for reading.