2 FAQ Answered

#1. “Should I join SuicideGirls“.  SG is not the same site today that it was when I joined in 2002.  Back when we walked to school uphill both ways and LIKED IT, all because the other tramps we were walking with were so fucking cool.  And my experience with SG was supercalafragalistic; it was what it was because I made it that way, because the moon was in the 5th house.  My experience is MY experience, not yours.  SO.  I have answered this question countless times like this:

  • *Do you want to make a living from taking off your clothes?  If yes, do hardcore porn.  Plenty of internet and film companies exist that take alt models.  Learn to strip.  Keep your head on straight and have fun.
  • *Do you want to possibly make a little extra cash, and be known, forever more, as one of the legions?  If yes, join SG.  Community remains there, and it may be just what you are looking for.  Keep your head on straight and have fun.

#2. “Do you regret doing SuicideGirls“.  No.  Because, duh.  It was a blast.  I made a living for myself through SG and because of SG.  I took moderate to mediocre pictures of myself, posted them on the internet and magical opportunities abounded.  It was really, truly, pretty damn terrific.

Best of all, those other girls I walked to school with, both ways uphill, were some of the most awesome women I could have ever have imagined I would have the honor of calling friends.  I have not seen some of them for half a decade now.  Some longer.  Some, I have never actually met in person.

But those women are still out there, reminding me that not ALL women have two faces.

Those women are out there, reminding me to harden the fuck up.  To remain positive.  To not have any guilt about who I am or what I’m into.

Couldn’t be more grateful for each and every one of them.  No matter what path we picked to follow, no matter how different, we are all where we want to be.  And that is a beautiful thing.


In praise of women with confidence.  Women uncovered, with their honesty and straight forwardness, truly without disguise.  Women with balls and brains enough to conduct themselves, not behind backs, but in the open.  Women in hot pursuit of their dreams; without a paralytic need for coddling, or cutting down of other women in pursuit of their own.

Women redefining beauty, women in action, women moving forward.


  1. There are Some who call her Flux · June 29, 2011

    Back atcha, gorgeous. Back atcha and with ya all the durn way.

  2. Charley · June 29, 2011

    Best thing that ever happened to me in so many ways, none of it to do with the modelling aspect really. Just the friends, so many amazing, exceptional, magical friends, truly grateful for that. I noticed recently an SG who was born in 1992, which is totally far out! 1992?!!

  3. Corinne · June 29, 2011

    I couldn’t agree with you more here. SG is so different back from when I first joined when I heard about it from a Local EP paper they had at the one Music store I shopped at.

    The community was amazing. The 200 original girls were awesome. Over all the best time’s I ever spent on a site looking at beautiful photos of girls with awesome body modifications. Then I was upset when one of my Favorite girls had left to join another site. I happened to mentioned this on my profile blog not thinking and I was instantly banned bc I mentioned the other site. I was heart broken over it. Ever since then the SG community changed for me. No one was the same, allot of friends I had on there left the site also it just changed allot from when I first joined. I still get a membership from time to time to check out the few girls I loved that still pose but as for the community it self I stay away from it bc it’s nothing like it used to be. I think things have gotten more stricter there then they were. It seams more political at times which takes away the fun of the whole thing.

    Ashley I have always loved your sets, but you were Different too from allot of other girls. I saw that when you posted a set when you were pregnant with your son. From there on I knew how different you were aside from all the piercings and tattoos you showed true beauty from the inside and out. When I found out you had this blog from the last time I had visited SG I was blown away at how awesome the stuff you talked about from Natural living and parenting. I don’t know many people to live this way and Information about it is hard to come by. Your blog is truly one of the best ones I have ever read and always look forward to reading.

    I’m going to leave this where it is, bc now i”m starting to ramble lol But I just wanted to say how much I love you more now then I ever did before when I first heard about you on SG <3333

  4. Julia · June 29, 2011

    It never even occurred to me that SG might be something you would have regretted. Why do people ask you this? Is it because you are a mother?

  5. Twwly · June 29, 2011

    Feeling the Flux love, all the way in Ontario.

    Charley, darn tooting! Female and male friends really, Sg really connected me to some amazing people. You are definitely one of the ones who are “out there” for me. 1992 is crazy shit, I feel that way every time an 18 year old comes in to get tattooed.

    Corinne, Yes there were definitely shenanigans. I managed to keep my nose out of that business, both with my own effort and because of sheer chance of course. Thank you very much for your kind words, they are very warming and I appreciate it greatly.

    Julia, good question. I think it’s because my life appears so different than what it was in 2002. I think they must think the new me would have a hard time reconciling the old me, but it is not the case. I loved the journey.

    The spin off question is “do you miss that life”. These seem such silly questions, because I was SO YOUNG when I joined, I mean, I grew UP, of COURSE things are different, life changes some things and not others.

  6. Mom · June 29, 2011

    Well said Sweetie! I’m proud of you now and was proud of you then. You speak your piece, know what you want and go out and get it! You are one super woman! Love you to pieces!

  7. Alex · June 29, 2011

    Well said! I don’t think I’d be the same person I am now had I not have done SG. It opened a lot of doors for me in life, not necessarily always modelling ones, but I know I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have met my husband had I not decided to give SG a go, not that I met him directly through SG, but you know what I mean. I think I’d be a completely different person now had I not been a part of the site, and to be asked if you regret seems so weird when I think about where I am now, and how I got to where I am in my life.

  8. Anne · June 29, 2011

    So i’m reading this and go hmm whats SG’s? Look at the site and still can’t figure it out so I ask my husband and he knows it is kinda soft core pictures for goth girls- his words. So I’m wondering how a girl from Kincardine ends up possing for pretty pictures? Just wondering? Guess I grew up way more sheltered/ culturely isolated.

  9. juniormintsrule · June 29, 2011

    AWESOME POST!!!!!! cheers!

  10. Twwly · June 29, 2011

    Alex – I totally hear you.

    Anne – Well, I moved away from Kincardine, that was the first step! Haha

    Junior – cheers!

  11. Amandette · June 29, 2011

    I am very grateful that you posted this.
    Thanks Twwly, you are a First Class Lady.

  12. Alexis · June 29, 2011

    Although I have moved on from being active on the site, SG was the highlight of my early 20s and I’ve meet some of my best friends on there, people I’m still close with today. I had SO MUCH FUN! SG provided the supportive community for alternative lifestyles… and back in 2002, this was pivotal, because people could be free to be themselves without fear of social lashback. It created who I am today, and for that, I am forever grateful.

    Love you and miss you,
    xoxoxox Alexis

  13. Twwly · June 29, 2011

    Loved feeling so safe in an alternative lifestyle. So true. I love you and miss you too, Alexis. I hope to see you sooner than later.

  14. SweetBird/Trixie · June 29, 2011

    First off, your mom is awesome.

    Second, sometimes I wish we could have an SG reunion that you’re only allowed into if you were on the site when there were only 600 girls, or even less. We could all sit around and get sauced and remember the good times. Then make fun of the new girls and be horrified at how young they are and how they put no thought at all into the fact that these pictures are forever.

    Third, I have loved following your life through these years. From your SG debut in the bathtub that blew my mind to where you are now. You have always been an inspiration to me, one that I may never meet but am grateful for all the same. Things like that make me so glad that SG was a part of my life for so long. The most magical,amazing people in my life came from it. Where I’ve ended up was all because of the twists and turns my life took through that site.

    Thank you for writing about it.

  15. Twwly · June 29, 2011

    TRIXIE. I had no idea “SweetBird” was you. I love the shit out of your blog. And am also terrible about putting 2 + 2 together.

    CHEERS on all points!

  16. Twwly · June 29, 2011

    Yeah, I honestly have NO idea how I didn’t recognize you. Twwly for the win.

    It makes sense now why I liked your blog so much. HA.

  17. moris · June 29, 2011

    I love to die…

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