Scott called from work this week with news. News you know you don’t want to hear. A young friend of ours had died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. She had a true brightness about her, and used her life to it’s full potential, helping others. She was an activist, an advocate, an awesome person.
I told Bob that Daddy would be upset when he came home, that a friend had died. Bob is three, so he had some practical questions, which I answered. Bob then asked if she would be coming back, and I said no, when people die it’s just like any other creature, that’s it. He insisted she’d come back, and I again said no. Then he says, “but when she comes back, she’ll come back as a new girl.”
Sometimes I wonder if children have the answers, because I certainly don’t. Not even a little. No part of me understands how this was “her time” to pass.
Our remarkable friend was a full body organ donor. I have been told that she has helped 72 different people, in her final act of generosity. I can think of nothing greater.
You can’t take it with you.
Please, sign your donor cards.
wow.
I got goose bumps from a few different aspects of your post. I won’t detail them; no need to rehash, but 72?! So cool. I’ll bet that would have made her happy.
“but when she comes back, she’ll come back as a new girl.”
this is still giving me shivers five minutes after reading it.
they know. i really believe they do.
My friend’s roommate Amanda was murdered several years ago, and the one bright spot in the whole ordeal was her heart. Amanda was also a full body organ donor, and her heart went to a Japanese girl. In life, Amanda was absolutely obsessed with Japan, and went as far as to call herself Omi and teach herself Japanese! Knowing that her heart lives on in a place she loves keeps all of us going.
There is nothing sexier than selflessness. There is nothing sexier than seeing the bigger picture.
Oh! Also, I want to squeeze Bob for that one! What a bright and beautiful spot in the world that boy is!
My first husband had a brain aneurysm at age 28 (16 years ago) I had nagged and nagged him to be an organ donor, he finally relented to shut me up (I think). When he passed away, he saved the lives of 8 people – some of whom I still have some contact with.
The person who recieved his heart and lungs is doing well – it was his daughter who contacted me a few years after the donation. It still helps to know they are well because he donated – even if it was just to get me off his case.
SIGN YOUR DONOR CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to you and Scott!
i’m so sorry, that’s truly awful. my friends mom died of an aneurysm when i was in highschool. you just NEVER know, it’s so scary.
It’s such a tragedy….Marsha was such an amazing woman who did so much for this community, and then continued to do so after her passing. The city will not be the same without her, nor will the world. It has brought so many of us together around here….it’s just unfortunate it had to happen this way. Small world that you knew her as well.
Out of the mouths of babes! What a touching sentiment though, very sweet
72 people, that’s beyond amazing! I’ve always signed my organ donor cards and my family knows as well. Because sometimes things like these do happen and when they do then its not so tragic because someone Else’s life can go on or in this case several others and that’s amazing!
All the best to Scott & yourself. Loosing a loved one is always so very heartbreaking.
Such unfortunate news. But everyone’s right – sign your donor cards. Make sure you tell all your family and friends about it being your decision too. One of my professors told us once that (at least in the US) if you die in a hospital and they want to harvest your organs, they come to ask the family first, instead of trying to track down a little card. So make sure everyone’s on the same page!!
Regarding the kiddos: There’s this awesome book called “Talking About Death.” I had to read it in my death and dying psych class, and it’s all about how to approach it with children without saying stupid shit like, “they’re going to heaven, they’ve just gone away…” etc.
Here’s a link to the amazon listing. I recommend it for anyone that has children.
http://www.amazon.com/Talking-about-Death-Dialogue-Between/dp/0807023639/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263069140&sr=8-2
As a recent recepient of donor tissue and as someone who knew Marsha, thank you for posting this. A lot of people exclude their eyes on their donor cards because it’s “creepy” but 10 days ago someone gave me back my sight, so thank you again.. and everyone that signs their cards.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
I just registered now. Such a simple process.
I’m sorry for your loss <3.
I believe children have the answers. But somewhere along the line, we lose it all as we age.
I’m so sorry, Ashley & Scott.
I’m sorry about your friend. I think sometimes children understand the world better than adults.
In addition to signing the organ donor card, everyone should have the organ donor conversation with their loved ones so they know what their wishes would be. My mom and I had that conversation again two years ago and opted to donate everything (I was previously creeped out by my skin and eyes being used, but my being weirded out in life is nothing compared to helping someone in death).
I love that Bob said that. I feel like children really know whats going on even after we forget when we grow up. My heart is with you and I hope that his words were some comfort to you. She will live on in your hearts and in the bodies and souls of the people she helped. My thoughts are with you and her other friends and family.
I don’t drive…how can I have a donor card without a license? How does one do this (in Canada)?
Caitlin, mine is on the back of my health card and is memory serves correct OHIP has the same option (I think)
I did find this online for those of use living in Canada
http://organdonations.ca/help/organdonor/
so sorry for your loss
she sounds like an amazing person.
I’m sorry to hear that. Losing a friend is very hard but she takes your love with her. And I think your son is right, she’ll grace the earth again someday.
I love what bob said too. I wish that we all could see things through childerns eyes. They (childern) are such blessings.
My father died from a brain aneurysm. Its so terrible. Im sorry about your friend.
I just renewed my health card and re-signed my donor card, I have also made it clear to my husband and parents my wishes should it be necessary. You’re right, you can’t take it with you, and it’s better than being in the cold ground, in my opinion!
i’m so sorry for your loss. <3
Interesting what Bob said. Some say kids his age are still able to remain spiritually connected and know more than we do.
Sorry for you loss she sounds like she was a rare girl.