So, we have guns in our house. We have a tidy little collection of a variety of actual firearms, and my kids have quite the arsenal. There’s a slew of wooden guns: pop, handgun, long gun and there’s even a (plastic!) cap gun.
And this is why I’m fine with both:
1. Guns can be really fun. Real guns (RG from now on) are fun to shoot. I feel like most people who say things like “guns have NO other purpose than to KILL” have probably never gone target shooting. Something for which I personally prefer the ever-controversial hand gun. (Long guns are heavy. I’m little. That simple).
Toy guns (TG from now on) are also fun to shoot. Bob quite enjoys “pow-ing” imaginary birds from the sky and making them into soup for his sister.
2. Guns can harvest the happiest food on the planet. I greatly appreciate the fact that the healthiest meat available is that taken from a wild animal, who foraged in the wilderness and died with the sun on it’s face and a song in it’s heart.
3. Guns are useful. For processing your own farm raised meats. For dispatching any rabid or otherwise suspect or problematic varmint. For the purpose of protection in case the Mayans were right or the zombies come or thanks to all the BPA and pthalates we wind up in a Children of Men state. I’d like to be able to hunt my own food and protect my family if the world falls apart.
4. Guns aren’t decidedly deadly. A gun is a tool. Like a power drill. Or a knife. Or a Sawzall. A gun is only deadly if the person wielding it makes it dangerous. A person who doesn’t know how to properly handle a gun shouldn’t handle guns. Nor should drunk or otherwise disorderly people. Those same people also should not operate power tools or drive cars either.
SO. Guns and kids. I don’t think toy guns are going to make my children grow up to be violent. Because we’re trying very purposefully to raise engaged, compassionate children. We also have no cable, no video games and there’s no guerilla group in my back forty waiting to recruit my kid into a world of crime. I’m pretty darn confident Bob and Mags aren’t very likely to become sociopaths.
Not every game is BANG-YOURE-DEAD. Guns can be any object and any object can be a gun when you’re a kid.
I do tell Bob, if he shoots his sister, he has to eat her. Snotty nose and all. He is after all, two and a half and snot is a pretty good deterrent for someone his age. We are teaching him, of course, that you would NEVEREVER shoot your sister, or anyone else for that matter. And that Real Guns make Real Owies. Age appropriate and all that. And, OF COURSE, any firearm here is always properly stored and the keys are hidden out of sight. Common sense and some conversation.
I will say, I didn’t always feel this way about firearms. I never thought I’d be perfectly fine with toy guns in my house. Like many people who swear against firearms, I too can share horrendous stories about what can happen when guns turn into weapons. I didn’t grow up around guns, but I got into them over the years. And I quickly realized that my fears about guns were speculative and that, when handled properly, there is nothing to fear.
(I’m not advocating real or toy gun ownership for all.
I am only explaining my personal feelings about firearms
and my children.)
I couldn’t agree with you more Ashley. I also have a household with firearms, and I am raising my kids to be respectful of weapons. It’s hard to explain it to others sometimes, I have gotten many a dirty look when I mention I have firearms in my home.
You kick ass! You have explained it so well.
We too have a home with rifles and are hunters. We teach our daughter that we hunt and eat the meat. We teach her to fish and that we respect nature as well.
Like you said, guns are tools and when used properly they are very useful, but when used improperly, they are dangerous. Any tool can be dangerous when in the hands of someone who isn’t capable of using the tool properly (the saws-all comparison cracked me up too.)
We actually bought Hannah a gun for when she is old/responsible enough to start shooting a .22. It’s bright pink wood grain and so awesome! I had always wanted one growing up, but they just weren’t available then. You can check it out in my last blog entry. The hubby shot a raccoon with it on Father’s Day too…LOL!
Anyway, GREAT blog post!!
Hope your well!
~M~
i have been feeling for a long while now that not knowing how to shoot a gun properly is a leaving me at a total disadvantage. thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the post Ashley! We were actually having discussions about guns in my mom’s group recently.
My PERSONAL feelings are that I do not want Grey to play with guns or other weapons. We don’t own firearms, I am very uncomfortable with them due to a bad experience as a child. I understand that they can be used as tools, but because we don’t have them in our lives in any useful way, I feel like G’s only exposure to them otherwise would be through media, which is most often times violent. I understand that children can turn anything into a firearm (a finger, a stick) but i feel like by not allowing him to play with or buying toy guns, we are driving home the idea that we do not condone violence. This is what works and what i feel is comfortable in MY HOUSEHOLD.
That said, I certainly would not judge you for allowing your child to play with toy guns. Especially for the fact that guns are a part of your lifestyle and because you are responsible/thoughtful parents.
I will however judge the couple that i met recently who’s son had a talking plastic robot that had a gun and said things like, “destroy the human ants!” and also had a play kitchen for their son that was a McDonalds drive through. I just ASSUME that they aren’t having thoughtful conversations with their children about firearms. Nor are then using guns to kill their own food.
Great post. I couldn’t agree more. I grew up in a rural Midwest town where everybody had a shotgun. Deer season is a huge deal where I come from. I went hunting for the first time with my grandpa when I was 7. My brother and I were taught very young to have respect for guns and how to handle guns properly. I never got into hunting, but my brother did and he got his first of many guns when he turned 12.
My husband and I are raising our family “in town” and do not own any guns. We just don’t have any need for one, but if we move back to the country, you better believe I’ll be buying one.
Kelly, haha, yeah no to the “destroy humans!” gun. That’s crazy!!!!
i can see your point and agree with your take, but since i have never even held a gun, much less fired one, they do freak me out. i keep thinking about the statistics (though i admit i don’t have hard numbers on this) that say that you are more likely to get shot by your own gun than by an intruder’s gun or that children are more likely to get killed by their parents’ gun…. that scares me.
Oh I wanted to ask you. Did you ever make dandelion jelly or should I send you a jar or two?
Hi
Ive followed this blog for a while( and when you were on SG) but never commented. Thought I might as well do it on this post.
I dont have children yet, but I always said I would never want them to play with guns. But I can completely see your point of view. If you live somewhere you can hunt then I am all for it. I am not so sure I would think it was a fantastic idea if you lived in the city in an appartment building.
Anyways, thanks for writing a really interesting and useful blog !
I am in favor of responsible gun ownership, and of teaching kids to respect guns and use them safely. I did actually grow up around guns- everyone had a gun rack in their pickup truck
The thing for me is that toy guns essentially blur the line: they make it harder for children to understand gun safety. They encourage kids to view guns as toys, rather than to respect them. In my house, guns are never toys. They are dangerous machines that we enjoy responsibly.
I love to shoot. It is fun. But that doesn’t change the fact that the ultimate purpose of a gun is not target shooting: it is killing. It is foolish to pretend otherwise. It is easy for someone who has never experienced the deadly qualities of a gun to tell themselves that guns are not killing machines, but that is exactly what they are.
Regarding properly handling guns: you are correct, a person who cannot handle a gun correctly should not handle a gun, ever. But a gun, properly handled, *is deadly*. That is one way of properly handling a gun. I can properly handle a gun because if someone invades my home, I intend to shoot them.
With deer getting prion diseases, the fact that wild animals are parasite-ridden, as well as all the pollution humans toss around, wild meat really isn’t the healthiest meat anymore. But it might be the happiest, unless of course the animal in question has died in fear rather than oblivion.
I don’t think that toy guns make children grow up to be violent toward other humans. But they do tend to create callousness toward non-humans, as evidenced by Bob pretending to shoot birds. My cousins all grew up shooting and hunting, and as a result they don’t really see animals as having feelings. They have no compassion for animals.
Priscilla – I don’t think Bob will grow up without compassion for animals just because he pretends to shoot and eat them at two and a half. We compassionately raise our farm and house animals and he has a clear understanding already that our animals have feelings just like he does. What may be true for your cousins is not necessarily true for my son.
Any animal is parasite ridden. We are all full of parasites and strange chemicals. Animals kept in captivity are either treated with wormers or managing some sort of parasitic load. Even in comparison to our organic, pasture raised meats, I think you’d be splitting hairs on who provides the leanest, healthiest meat. But that’s just my opinion.
I absolutely agree, guns properly handled can be deadly, but my point is that they are not definitely deadly every time you use one. And I think that’s where a lot of unbridled, unnecessary fear about guns stems from for a lot of people. (Not saying I think guns SHOULDNT be feared). I just don’t view them as dangerous killing machines. Not saying they can’t be, just saying I don’t feel they are ALWAYS.
The purpose of target to me, is to get better at putting a bullet where you want to put it. And the only thing I am likely to shoot for the rest of my life is more targets. And in the case of late night B&E or something, it is probably not going to be the proverbial “between the eyes”, hopefully it won’t be at ALL.
I could kill someone who illegally entered my house with a knife just as easily with a good throw or a slash, but that doesn’t mean every time I cut steak that I’m in some way honing my killing skillZ. It’s just not that absolute for me.
Well put … A gun a TOOL for feeding and protecting our families.
I’ve always found that the people that demonize firearms are the ones that have never been taught how to safely handle and shoot a gun. Once they’ve been safely shown how to shoot a firearm, and been introduced to target shooting, they have a whole new perspective.
When my son is old enough, I intend to start him with a BB gun and show him proper, safe gun handling. My father taught me how to shoot when I was very young and I never found guns to be “taboo” or something that I wanted to dangerously “play with” when adults were not around. It was a tool that I was taught to respect. I hope I can teach my son the same lessons and we can enjoy hunting and target shooting safely together.