Cutest Kids in the Known Universe

July 24th, 2010

Cindy Ray looks like QuasimoGoat because she had gotten disbudded the day before.  Her eyes are thankfully no longer swollen. I know there are a lot of people out there who want to potty train dwarf goats.  I know this because my STATS function coughs up a surprising number of Google generated hits with those key words.  Let me take this opportunity to make something perfectly clear:

Goats belong in barns and not in the house.

1. You cannot toilet train a goat.  (This coming from a woman whose babies were no longer pooing in diapers by 4 months of age, remember).
2. If your goat comes to think it’s a puppy or a member of the family, WHEN the time comes you no longer want it in the house, it’s going to have a serious adjustment problem when introduced back to other goats.  That little bit of entertainment gleaned from having a goat in the house would be nixed 10 times over. Goats are farm animals and not pets. Making your farm animals into pets is a mistake in my opinion. A pony sized horned and hoofed animal (a.k.a. BUCKY the Chief Jerk of JerkCity) with a sense of entitlement, even if benevolent, is a physical threat to children and adults alike. For the sake of the animals and the people in your life, keep your farm animals where they are happiest. (Pooing freely on fresh grass).

And so why is my goat in the house?

1. Bandage change and wound wash in the sink in the house which has (a few) less flies than the goat shed.
2. Hilarious one off photo opportunity.
3. To annoy my husband.

Granny Glasses

July 14th, 2010

Got me some bifocals today.  Yup.  Wish the picture was better (used the camera on the computer) so you could see the terribly sexy LINE across the lower half.  I was overjoyed to discover while watching 10 loads of laundry dry today that I could actually read a magazine comfortably.  Can’t wait to sew with them.

My husband went to Toronto today to get tattooed.  He took the Exploder because the 4Runner has a head gasket problem (just like last year) and has been sitting at the mechanics for a month.  The same Exploder whose tire went on the highway in the middle of winter and nobody stopped for the lady waiving her hands in the middle of the snowstorm at night… that Exploder.  The one whose tie rod end went on the highway this summer.  The one whose tire was fully flat (ditto the spare, I thought we had replaced over the winter) tonight after his tattoo appointment.  In Toronto.

I mean, I guess that thing has done alright by us, I did roll it once and drive it away.

BUT IF he drives that godforsaken vehicle home from the Big Shitty I am going to light it on fire.

So if you see a blaze out in Kingarf way, bring over your marshmallows and weenies, she’ll be a good burn.

Has Anyone Seen This Man

July 7th, 2010

My husband is the stuff of legend.

He has rugged good looks and a wicked glint in his eye.  His hands are strong and capable, becoming increasingly battered by use.  His freckles are each one a delight, his tattoos made sexier by the full body of fur over them.  My husband is very much a man.  His humor is crude and continual, effective and endearing.  He can fanagle and fix just about anything we need fanagled or fixed.  His artistic skills are awe inspiring, the man can just sit down and draw…anything.  He has tremendous patience with our children which balances out his deficit of child proofing skills.  He has helped make my dreams come true, one kid at a time.

I could not possibly be more in love with him.

His hard work and dedication to our family are evident in every minute of his absence.

Which is a good thing.  Because much like those tremendous folk tales of yore, some days I feel like I know of him only from memories, from stories of his interaction with us.

Anyone else out there have a partner they don’t get enough of?  How do you deal with the loneliness and the potential for resenting their extracurriculars?  How do you stifle your excitement about them finally coming home so you don’t come across as demanding?

Being perturbed by the person you have missed so dearly because you’ve missed them so dearly is some predicament.

Chicken Lickens

July 2nd, 2010

Note: the chickens have grown.  They stay cute for about 2 days, then they start getting weird and manky looking as their feathers come in and often try to eat one another.  Beautiful creatures, chickens. Whenever anyone tells me how much they love chickens I always think they probably have not yet met enough of them.

We move them about the pasture in giant chicken tractors.  They are protected from predators, but get fresh grass and the pleasure of eating all the bugs they can catch.  If they were free range, they would be free food for the foxes, cougars, coons and wandering farm dogs.  They would also burn a lot of extra calories, making feed to meat conversion less efficient and less cost effective.  Being on grass reduces their feed intake some and I think it makes for happier birds.

(I recently saw “vegetarian eggs” recently.  Some food for thought for anyone thinking this more humane: if the chicken is not able to eat a bug, it is not outside.  Also, chickens LIKE to eat bugs.  If you think that’s gross, that’s really just too bad.)

The path of destruction in their wake is quickly replaced by beautiful lush green turf.

There are 50 chickens in each pen. They get moved out into the tractors around 3-4 weeks of age.  I move a cooler of feed along with them, so I don’t have to worry about coons getting to the food.  (They seem to be able to undo all securing mechanisms on garbage bins).  I also bought an extra hose this year so I can bring the hose pretty close to them, instead of having to haul multiple jugs of water back and forth every time I do chores.

We raise “Special Dual Purpose” chickens from a local hatchery.  They are a bit slower growing than say, a White Mountain.  I have heard from people who raise those that you always know when they’re “ready” because their legs start to break and their hearts stop.  Lovely.  This is what happens when you mess so heavily with genetics.  The birds we raise grow a bit faster than “Heritage” breeds.  We have raised a few of those, and while they were very nice birds and actually acted like chickens and not chicken breasts, we wanted a little bit more bang for our buck.

BUCK-ACK!

Midwife and Executioner

June 28th, 2010

Those are two job titles I’ve earned since deciding to engage in our homesteading adventure.  The former I earned today, assisting Suki through her first delivery.

Suki had been showing signs of labor all weekend.  She’d been pawing, contorting, heavy breathing, groaning, dripping mucous, contracting.  I spent so much time in the goat shed.  Some of it was very tranquil.  It’s quite nice to take a nap with a goat.  Other times, like at night during torrential downpour, being eaten alive by mosquitos dressed in a sopping hoody while staring at the goats ass…. not so idyllic.  My (marvelous and infinitely helpful) WOOFer Katie took shifts.  Auntie Alexis took shifts and even had the pleasure of helping hold Suks while I performed my first cervical exam as the vet was up North for a family gathering.  (We were worried she her amniotic sac had burst and there may be issues with potential kids.)  Through all of this Suk’s was the suckiest she had ever been, literally becoming a lap goat.  Laying across my legs, nuzzling my neck, putting herself under my hands.  She really wanted love.  So we gave it.

This afternoon her udder looked like it was going to burst.  Each teat looked like a jumbo cartoon breast from Playboy.  Her hind end had gone from very puffy to sunken and she began bellowing through her contractions.  Scott eventually heard this and came dashing out to the goat shed just in time to see a little nose emerging from within the fluid filled sac.  With a little manoevering and a few good pushes on her part we were soon helping clean off her beautiful little doeling.

Suki took instantly to mothering; licking furiously and keeping a hawk eye on her precious one. Little Cindy Ray took quickly and easily to nursing.  It was such a wonderful experience to get to share alongside my wonderful husband.  He caught Bob when he was born and played a huge role in supporting me during my labour with Meeps.  It was so fantastic to be able to help support our wonderful little goat through her labour, together.  Definitely softens the sadness of knowing we will not be having anymore kids ourselves.

And now I will shut up and show off some pictures.

On the topic of daughters, here is a recent picture of four generations of lovely ladies.

It is my precious little daughter’s birthday tomorrow.  But the Great Grandparents started their journey back to Hawaii today, so we shared presents for her yesterday.  We had a Blessingway planned, but given the unrelenting rain, the 7 or 8 desserts that failed miserably and the fact that I smelled like a goat… we decided to postpone.

There are plenty of people who think we are nuts over one component of our parenting ethos or another and one of those things involves toys.  We eschew plastic toys, specifically those containing BPA and pthalates.  We do this for two reasons: (1) I’d rather not expose my kids to said chemicals and (2) them toys is ugly.  I’ve gotten my share of “but you’re depriving them of play!”  Most certainly, I am not.  Mags presents included such wonders as a wooden coffee maker; a stash of handsewn finger puppets; a wool stuffed fairy and a fantastic set of felted peas in a pod, which I didn’t manage to take a picture of in daylight today, but I assure you are achingly adorable.  BEHOLD!

Maggie wore the dress I sewed for her from Anna Maria Horner fabrics (so wonderful) and Bob wore the Amish pattern based shorts I sewed for him over the winter.  He performed what he called Amish Dances all over the living room that day. They involved a lot of twisting and writhing, much akin to Suki’s recent behaviour.

And now it’s time for me to sleep, not in the manger, but in my own bed.

Good night all.  Thanks for checking in.

Anniversary

June 20th, 2010

Scott and I celebrated our anniversary this past week.  We attended a single malt tasting (Scott lucks out twice over in the Scotch department those nights) at the Brasserie in town.  Which is also where we had our wedding reception.  The food was tremendous as usual and the company was great.  Feeling very blessed.

Don’t know why I waited so long to buy a pair of work overalls, but holy crap.  They had them on sale at the TSC this week and am I ever thrilled.  Now I don’t have the poo of the 7 different types of animals we have at our farm on my pants!  Novel!

Suki is penned up in the maternity ward as we wait for her to kid.  Everything is racing along at full speed.  Animals, children, life.

Chickens Eye View

June 11th, 2010

Very busy.  Enjoying having our WOOFER.  Chickens are acting like chickens.  Turkeys are acting like, well, turkeys.  Pigs are learning to come to kissy noises.  Bucky the goat has been impersonating a pony.  Suki is due to kid the end of June and we’re going to start prepping the maternity ward soon.  Making cheese.  Eating berries.

Speaking of berries, any Kincardine area folks looking for organic strawberries at half the price of grocery store fare, please visit my neighbour Alan Jantzi.  If you are on HWY 21, turn inland at the 5th Concession at the Beefway.  Drive about 10 clicks down.  Look for Jantzi on the mailbox on the left side of the road, but his farm is the one set back on the right.  They are Amish, and the farm across the street is also Amish.  If you hit the Bervie sideroad, you’ve gone too far.

With An Oink Oink Here

June 6th, 2010

Introducing Piggie Smalls and Pig Daddy Kane!

We name them because animals who are filled with love taste better.

They Have Arrived

June 5th, 2010

Piglets, that is.  Two little Berkshire balls of bacon.  I mean, joy.  I have no pictures because it’s dark out.  But everytime I go into the bathroom, I hear oinking.  Tomorrow there will be pictures.

We need to think names though, so here are a list of final qualifiers.  Please feel free to suggest others.

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I think the big boys at British Petroleum need a bath too

June 4th, 2010

To think these animals are still alive.  To think, this is day 45 and yet only the beginning.

When are we going to consume less?  When is government going to recognize the importance of small, sustainable and safe energy production?  What of this world will be left for my children?